Nicco’s Red Zone Blog | Stupid Aggies!




Columnist at hookemreport
Nicco Martinez, an Austin native, started covering sports in 1979 and has not since slowed down his love affair with playing, coaching, and writing about sports. He has written articles on both the Cowboys and Longhorns spanning 5 decades. HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS!!

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Nicco’s Red Zone Blog
A&M officially is leaving Big 12
By Nicco Martinez – Co-Editor Silver and Blue Report & Hook’em Report

Over the past season, TCU has decided to jump to the Big East and now Texas A&M is going to jump to the SEC.

Colonel Jessep [Jake Nicholson’s character in A FEW GOOD MEN]: [contemptuously]
“You fu#%in’ people… you have no idea how to defend a nation. All you did was weaken a country today, Kaffee. That’s all you did…”
What DeLoss Dodds should say to Bill Byrne: [emphatically]
“You fu#%in’ Aggies… you have no idea how to defend our recruiting advantage and build a long-term winner. All you did was weaken a state today, Byrne. That’s all you did…”

You see, TCU jumping to the Big East did nothing to hurt the recruiting advantage of the biggest dogs. Texas Longhorns, Oklahoma Sooners, A&M, and LSU were still going to get the cream of the crop recruits from the Lone Star State. These kings of recruiting knew that UConn and Syracuse were not going to win any battles for the top linebackers and offensive tackles in the state. Now, Big East schools will win their fair share of recruiting battles against SMU, Texas State, UTEP, Rice, and probably even Baylor…. but the big dogs weren’t going to lose sleep over this revelation. Not unless Rutgers wins a few BCS championships. [Not!]

Mark my words: UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS will get their full share of blue chippers no matter what!! It will become tougher and more heated, but nonetheless, Texas owns this state. But the advantage that LSU has enjoyed will be watered down the rest of the SEC schools circling Texas as a open market bonanza. Having Bama, Florida, Georgia and Tennessee travel to College Station and the media/TV exposure that comes with backyard games will have it’s effect on in-state recruiting. Trust me, Auburn carries exponentially greater clout than any Big East school. (And that’s true whether Auburn is on probation or not.)

Nebraska was having fun beating out Oklahoma State and Texas Tech for in-state recruits, but they left the Big 12 and as time passes, and the 1000-miles-away Big 10 will make the Nebraska Cornhuskers fade from the Lone Star State media, and in turn, they will lose a foothold on recruiting in this part of the country. (Bluntly, Nebraska’s team speed will slow and their win-loss record won’t look very good within 4 years.)

Who get’s those recruits that might have been Nebraska-bound…. probably Arkansas, Ole Miss, Florida, maybe Missouri (but I doubt it.)

If a kid is not recruited by Texas or does not like the color burnt orange, they could always choose one of two off-red colors in Norman or College Station. But now, additional reddish colors are here to compete with Oklahoma and Texas A&M. That’s right, if you are 17 years old and not coming to the Forty Acres in Austin, then expect Roll Tide, Wooo Pig Sooie, Spurriers’ Cocks, and the Dawgs of Athens to show off their off-red colors in attempt to woo football players across state lines. And they will be successful doing it, too.

So, what’s the bottom-line? Well, do not expect the real damage of the SEC playing conference games in the state of Texas to be done to the Red Raiders, Cougars, and Sic ’em Bears of our grand state. We’ll have to go up a rung and acknowledge that recruiting in the Lone Star State just got harder for Texas, Oklahoma, LSU and…. are you ready….. yep, the dumb-collie-mutts-of-podunk College Station.

In A&M’s infinite wisdom, they have opened up the fields of milk and honey by free-willingly biting into the apple. WTF? Gig’em, You just made it way too easy for Auburn and Alabama. That’s like building a giant Trojan horse and giving it to the invading army so they can turn around and use it against you. YOU JUST EARNED ALL OF THOSE JOKES PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU WITH THIS ONE ILL-ADVISED DECISION. Stupid Aggies.

When was the last time A&M had success against the SEC schools in football?
2010: lost to Arkansas, lost to LSU
2009: lost to Arkansas, lost to Georgia
2005-08: played no SEC schools
2004: lost to Tennessee
2001-2003: played no SEC schools
2000: lost to Mississippi State
1996-1999: played no SEC schools
1995: WIN over LSU in College Station!!
Wow, that’s impressive: a 1-6 record over the past 16 seasons! Well, at least Gig’em now knows what to expect!

Aggies: you could have been a solid 3rd chair and an occasional “player” in the Big 12. But where are you now? Look at this list of football colleges and tell me where you Aggies think you rank?

7.Ole Miss
9.South Carolina
10.Mississippi State

Where do you think that you are in the clout table / organizational chart of SEC football, I’ll tell you where you are:

Somewhere BELOW Arkansas and ABOVE Kentucky! That’s where! Yep, you will be in 9th, 10th, or 11th chair in the SEC!!

Do you Aggies think for a second that you will be a long-term winner as a 9th, 10th, or 11th chair? And before you answer this question, understand that you will have zero success going into southern states and recruiting their prep studs, however the other SEC schools will have outstanding success going into the Lone Star State to recruit studs away from you!!! Ouch!

Hmmmm, Dear A&M, is the world that the you Aggies just created better or worse than being 3rd chair and an occasional player in the Big 12? ?? Stupid Aggies.

Hey A&M, didn’t you learn anything from Nebraska? They were the kings of the Big 12 North, however now they are hanging out with Michigan State as they become the lap-dog bitch to Big 10 power-players Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan, Iowa, and Wisconsin. If Nebraska did not like the way their backside felt after conference politics with Texas, then they are going to love the way their backside will feel after Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan, Iowa, Michigan State and Wisconsin gang-up and rip the Cornhuskers a new one. OUCH!!! (It’s okay my Texan brothers, don’t feel bad, the boys from Lincoln asked for it!!)

Ok Aggies, let me understand this? You were sick of one playground bully (Texas) so you decided to move on to another playground that has 5 bullies (Bama, Florida, LSU, Auburn, Georgia) and 5 established occasional players (Tennessee, Ole Miss, Arkansas, South Carolina, Mississippi State)… OUCH!!! (It’s okay my Burnt Orange brothers, don’t feel bad, the boy-cheerleaders from College Station asked for it!! And you know what they’re saying in SEC country, ‘you can’t rape the willing’! Double-Ouch!!!!)

Dammit, now I’ve crossed the line—NOT because I’ve been inaccurate—because I am a TEXAN, and I’ve told my retarded little Texan brother countless times not to go jump the fence and mess with all those rattlesnakes. But he didn’t listen, but by blood alone, that ignorant maroon fool still remains my brother! Dammit. That pisses me off!! OH WAIT… Now momma is tellin’ me that he was really adopted! I KNEW IT!!

Dammit, Bill Byrne, invite them all in the front door, why don’t you!!! You just cut off your own hand, your own foot, and maybe even your own head!! That’s just brilliant thinking on your part!! But then again, that’s why ALL those jokes exist!!!! Stupid Aggies.

How many Aggies does it take to-that’s too easy, here’s another one:

The star football player for the Aggies was failing his math class at the semester and had to pass his exam in order to play in the game that weekend at Kyle Field. The professor and the school board get together and decide to ask him one question before the game. If the aggie answers the question correctly, he passes and can play. However, if he answers incorrectly he fails the course and is ineligible. Well the game finally rolls around and everyone is anxious about the question.

Before the game, the player and his professor go to the center of the field and over the loudspeaker the professor asks the question “What is two plus two?” The aggie thinks and thinks, finally he asks the professor if he can use a calculator. The professor says “No, your time is up”. In desperation the aggie shouts into the microphone “Four!”

With that Kyle Field erupts into the chant of “Give him another chance, give him another chance!”

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